To be Alive is to be Free

𝑁𝑜. 𝑀𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎. 𝑇𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑒.

These were the exact words my five-year-old daughter told me when I failed to answer an unexpected question.

In the last few weeks, it rained quite heavily in Mumbai. All the things in the city either went on a slow track or came to a halt. One evening, when I went to pick up my daughter from my parent’s house, we happened to see a cockroach desperately gasping for air to survive in the heavy rains.

Being a five-year-old, my daughter happened to notice this little creature struggling for life: lying upside down, holding onto a stone, and trying to get back up and move. Being an innocent, curious being, she couldn’t understand why the cockroach was struggling to breathe.

So she asked me a question: “Mum, Is this cockroach going to die?”

‘No, it’s alive’. I answered.

I suddenly noticed a smiling face turn into an investigative face as she found a new word in her life.

She asked me another question “Mum, what does alive mean?”

And just like most parents, I too reached a point in the conversation and wanted to get rid of the investigative nature of this little girl. I wanted it to end, so I replied to her with an intellectual answer.

I said to her, “Alive means to be Breathing. To be Living”

Well, feeling confident about my answer, I hopped into the vehicle.

Looking unsatisfied with my answer, she said, ‘Mum, you are wrong, and denied my distinction between alive and living. I guess she knew the answer.

She replied to me, “No, Mumma, to be alive is to be free.”

I suddenly felt small. I felt tiny in front of this five-year-old.

I was struck by how accurate her answer about life was.

Why do I share this small personal story with you?

This lesson came to me at the right time, when I was stressed to see my business missing its targets, my routine getting disturbed, my relationships shaken, and my desired future challenged.
I started living in fear of the future: What if I lose all of these?’ and stopped feeling alive at the moment: ‘Am I free right now?’. I was holding on to a particular outcome in life.

I mean someone who has spent a huge amount of money on self-help books, and retreats, and followed the top thinkers and gurus of the world. I thought I knew what living life meant, but I didn’t. My myth was broken instantly when I got the most valuable life lesson from a five-year-old and not from the most popular guru in the world.

‘To be alive is to be free’

Unfortunately, at a certain age in our lives, we adults think we all know how to live our lives. We think that doing things for survival is our life purpose. We think getting that top-class education, working in a top MNC, finding the right partner, running a successful business, living in a huge house, and driving a shiny car are our life’s purposes.

I mean nothing wrong; one can give meaning to their life by pursuing such life goals. The problem with this way of thinking is that it makes us compare ourselves to others; it makes us limited thinkers. We think our life’s work is to gather all these small stones and hold onto them. Instead of 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 a meaning in life, we start to search for ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 a meaning in life. We end up gathering more reasons to stay in fear. Staying with fear is living, whereas living free from it is being alive.

Next time you face a stressful situation, ask yourself, ‘ Do I feel alive right now?’ If yes, then continue; if no, then let go.