No, this blog is not about how Bee Gees came out with their most popular song of the 70s nor is it about my heartbreaks. This is something that I intentionally took the time to share because the form of love that I wish to share may be radical to understand. It is not what the dictionary defined as love for us nor is it something that is influenced by the universal concept of love. This is kind of my perspective of deep love – It may not depict a clear image, but if given thought can be simple in nature to understand.
Stay with me. I know this sounds heavy.
Our world is made of patterns, color, shapes, and textures, basically, everything is a form and in a 3-dimensional state. Likewise, our emotions have color and shape too – Yes they do. I didn’t know that until I was able to develop a fair sense of awareness in my body about it.
Have you ever got angry? Well, I did recently. I fumed with anger at a friend who chose not to reconcile with me over a past incident. The emotions of being rejected and unaccepted were quite unpleasant. In my quiet mind, suddenly, I found an explosion of thoughts that acted like thin layers of electric waves. These waves were red, fiery cables and wanted to burn my whole mind. Being good in my thoughts management, I was successful to shut my thoughts and focus on the priorities of the day. But do you know, it never disappears. Even if you shut those thoughts in your mind, they slowly crawl and show up in the other parts of the body. The dense feeling suddenly shifted to the middle of my chest. The emotions had a weight and it had a form – like a cloudburst with thunderstorms. It had thorns that wanted to pierce out from my chest. Suddenly, the fight with the mind shifted to the fight with the heart and I realized that it could be easy to cheat our intellect but not our intelligence.
So how did I then win the fight? Well, I reshaped my emotions.
Many of us are unwilling to feel the difficult emotions and so was I. I would disregard how I felt in the moment and try to discard it. This time, instead of avoiding, I brought complete awareness to my emotions to transmute. The emotions of anger when observed were quite pointy in shape and I would find it pricking me. However, with awareness, the pointy shapes started to turn into soft curves and converted the edgy triangles into big round bubbles. The bubbles would form and burst and then re-occur and burst until there were no bubbles left but nothingness in the space. What I noticed was that even if my mind failed to accept the disturbance, my ‘heart-mind’ was capable to accept, observe, reshape, and dissolving the anger and bringing nothingness in me.
To me, love is nothing but awareness. It means, wherever my awareness at that moment I am creating love inside me. Anything that I see, smell, taste, touch, hear, feel or do in awareness turns the experience into love. When our awareness is love, life is in harmony – nothing or no one is against you. It is pure state love. Then it is no more an act but love.
