All my life I have been an extrovert who would be the likable in the lot, the smart one, or the funny bone of the group. I would be someone who would say yes to all the social events with the fear of not missing out on the fun or the memories with people. I would be someone who would spend endless hours giving a shoulder to people and playing the role of a best friend only to get ditched by the person during my own troubled times. I mean somewhere in the life journey this personality was obligated to look right, apologetic, interesting, available, and fun for others. It wanted to be significant in existence. The fear of getting excluded and rejected by people or groups made my ego strong to automatically gravitate towards impressing people all the time.
Although I credit a lot of my current identity and success to this personality, at a certain point, I felt that I stopped learning and developing in my life. I felt stuck and dead for years. Instead of becoming better, I started becoming worse. My whole effort became all about feeding the ego to find solutions, growth, and success in people and situations.
The time had come that I really make my peace with disappointing people. It simply came down to one simple question for me: Are you going to choose you or them?
As I began to dig deeper to find the reasons for choosing myself, I was able to find new interests, and a curiosity to learn about the world and its principles from an unknown perspective. This was an ‘Aha’ moment for me, the feeling that you have now really understood something in life, an idea to solve all my problems. It’s your Mind-Body Vs the world biases. It is these two tools of yours that work mysteriously to develop beliefs to build you the best in the world or break the best in you. Whereas, the biases of the world force you to believe that what everybody thinks, does, and accept is the only truth. This biased truth compels you to be always right and never do wrong or go against the crowd. It compels you to follow a false consensus, fear In-group favoritism, seek authority, or stereotype others so that you are not out of the group. Because these biases are continually available to us, we are often in a state of not feeling the need to encode any information internally, but accepting them as something to make us human.
Working with your own mind and body is free of biases. In fact, it puts you into an introspective, thoughtful, and highly self-reflective state. The state can be quite boring, and non-stimulative and may make you feel insignificant. This journey to self-exploration is a long and repetitive process that doesn’t lead to any kind of enjoyment or results but exposes you to the flaws and inaccurate decisions to be aware of them.
Life purposes are not built on world biases, they are built internally through the process of intense self-churning to find out how you can be useful and nurturing to others. Realizing this helped me build some of my best work, retain important relationships and make high-quality decisions in life. Although it’s hard to avoid world biases being aware of them helps me now not be controlled or limited by them.
